In Search of the Rest of Me

In Search of the Rest of Me

By Jean-Claude Gerard Koven

I often wonder about why the world is in such dire straits, why wars seem to be the chosen means to resolve matters when ideologies clash. What I have discovered through this introspective process is fascinating. If, as the great teachers tell us, there is in fact only Oneness, then there is no us and them; rather, we are all one. Not only that; the conflicts I am seeing in the world around me are a reflection of what is occurring within me. And what is happening within me is the mirror image of what is happening without.

Every single one of us on this planet is a microcosm in relation to the macrocosm. I am just as riddled with subversive beliefs that I unconsciously label “the truth” as the next guy. Yet the beauty of this idea is that it applies both ways. If I can heal the destructive thinking within me, I may be able to affect the same in the world around me. I may even be able to chart a course others can follow.

Grounded in this logic, I’ve set out on a voyage of self-discovery that will be the basis of a new book. It’s a grand adventure that continues to follow the life of the main character of my earlier book, Going Deeper: How to Make Sense of Your Life When Your Life Makes No Sense.

Without giving too much of the story away, here’s how the new book starts: Larry has recently emerged from the mind-blowing two and a half days with cosmic teachers in Joshua Tree National Park that are the substance of Going Deeper. Yet for all his recent metaphysical development, he is still smarting from the emotional fallout of a divorce. In essence, he has become a metaphysical giant while remaining an emotional runt, unable to handle intimacy or commitment in a personal relationship. As the book opens, we find him sitting with his dog cum mentor, Zeus, at an outdoor café, as he does every Sunday morning. He is handed a note by one of the baristas.

The note is from a woman (an uncommonly beautiful woman, according to the barista), who tells Larry that she has known him for quite some time, but he is not quite ready for her. If he is willing to do the work, she’s willing to wait. The cryptic note is signed “April” and includes a telephone number he is to call when he thinks he’s completed his process of preparation. It turns out that April is not the lady’s real name; rather it’s the month dedicated to her worship and celebration. In fact, “April” is a pseudonym for the goddess of love herself, Aphrodite. Larry, of course, doesn’t know that. Nor, at the time I wrote those pages, did I realize that I would have the chance to “meet” the goddess myself later this year.

Larry’s journey of self-discovery is very much my own. I am married to a spectacular lady, Arianne, whom I adore and deeply respect. Yet I find that our relationship repeatedly bumps up against an invisible glass ceiling that keeps it within the boundaries of the common illusion. I want more. I want to deepen our connection to the point where she and I dissolve into one, something like the way hydrogen and oxygen lose their individual identities in the formation of water.

My resolve has been to learn what is stopping me – along with virtually all the other men on the planet – from falling so deeply in love that all barriers melt. And since the moment I made the decision to embark upon this journey, the universe has been providing me with an ongoing succession of life-altering experiences.

One of these was having my C1 vertebrae adjusted, which immediately amplified the flow of cosmic intelligence in a way that continues to have a life-altering effect. (See: At face value, the result seems so improbable that if I wasn’t receiving so many positive reports from others who have received the treatment, I could easily come to believe I had made it all up.

Another shift came when Arianne asked me to consider adding my middle name to my daily moniker. She had just visited a website where visitors can check the numerology of their names. The two printouts she deposited on my desk – one with my middle name, one without – were as different as chalk and cheese. They presented two contrasting personality portraits, one perfectly aligned with everything I was trying to achieve, the other completely opposed. I can now report that altering one’s name with consciousness definitely makes a difference. (See:

I am currently working with a brilliant hypnotherapist, Terry Brussel-Gibbons, who also happens to be a world-class matchmaker. (See: What I’ve already experienced in our sessions has had a palpable effect on my relationship with Arianne. The result of reversing a certain imprint caused at the moment of my birth that had effectively blocked me from fulfilling my desire for unfettered intimacy was huge. The imprinting of such layers of fear and protection at birth is so universal that virtually no one can experience this exquisite state unless it is removed.

I’ve already had my first meeting with Michelle Karen, who was selected to be the exclusive astrologer to the stars at the 78th Academy Awards. I now realize that 99.9 percent of the world (including myself before my revelation) views astrology backwards. We assume that the planetary configurations at the time of our birth (and all the resulting transits) are a matter of fate. Actually, it is ourselves – in conjunction with our higher selves – who deliberately select each and every aspect of our birth (including the time, place, genetic track, and astrological configurations) for specific reasons. We are not victims of these astrological patterns; we are masters, or at least co-creators, of them. Once you figure out why you chose as you did, you will understand with astonishing clarity what you have come to earth to accomplish.

I have already been introduced to the vast arena of tantra, to unconditional angelic love, and to a veritable smorgasbord of emotional and spiritual delicacies that tempt me to the brink of delirium. (See: Soon this journey will take me nearly halfway around the globe. This part of the story dealing with April/Aphrodite still has me scratching my head in disbelief. You can decide for yourself whether or not the universe has a part in orchestrating this adventure.

October 26, 2006 marks our twentieth wedding anniversary. Already last year Arianne and I decided we would celebrate it in Cyprus, a place neither of us had ever been to or knew very much about. It wasn’t until we lunched with a friend in Ashland, Oregon earlier this year that we discovered the connection. Cyprus is the home of Aphrodite. It is there, the myths tell us, that the goddess fell to earth in a meteorite and emerged from the foaming sea (depicted in Sandro Botticelli’s famous painting The Birth of Venus; see: The Black Stone of Paphos (on display at the Palaipaphos Museum in Kouklia, Cyprus), revered as a representation of the goddess Aphrodite since 1300 BC, is actually an andesitic1 boulder of considerable size. It has received such idolization over the years that it is said to contain mystical powers.

I will go to Kouklia and pay my respects to the Black Stone, not as a tourist but as one who seeks the holiest of communions. I will come asking that I be taken into the goddess’s presence. There’s no way of knowing whether I will be ready, or even whether the Black Stone of Paphos is merely an inert piece of rock, oblivious to the veneration showered upon it all these years. Of course I cannot know beforehand whether, even if all else is in place, the great goddess will receive me. But uncertainty lies at the heart of all adventure, and the prize is great. Like a smitten lover I will travel to her.

1 Andesite: an extrusive usually dark grayish rock consisting essentially of oligoclase or andesine feldspar with augite, hornblende, hypersthene, or biotite.

Jean-Claude Gerard Koven is a writer and speaker based in Vilcabamba, Ecuador. He was a featured weekly columnist for the UPI (United Press International) Religion and Spirituality Forum and is the author of Going Deeper: How to Make Sense of Your Life When Your Life Makes No Sense, recipient of both the Allbooks Reviews Editor’s Choice Award and the Award for the Best Metaphysical Book of the Year.

©2004 – 2021. Jean-Claude Gerard Koven / All Rights Reserved.


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